LEAVE your fellas at home for a night of grumpy fun with three leading ladies of stage and screen.

Grumpy Old Women: Fifty Shades of Beige will see Jenny Eclair, Susie Blake and Kate Robbins mull over life’s gripes at the Albert Halls, Bolton — from the joy of large pants, beards for women and a mercifully brief Zumba demonstration.

The stage show is based on the BBC television series Grumpy Old Women, screened from 2004 to 2007, a follow-on to Grumpy Old Men.

Susie, who played Bev Unwin in Coronation Street for three years, said: “We’re all middle-aged grumpies.

“We just fire away, as you can imagine, with all the different subjects that could annoy or upset women of a certain age.

“This is a brand new show but it’s still Grumpy Old Women.”

Written by Perrier Award-winning comedian Jenny and Judith Holder, best-selling author of the first Grumpy Old Women book and producer of the hit TV series, the original stage version completed four sell-out UK tours, a hugely successful month-long West End residency and a hit run in Australia.

Susie appeared in the second instalment — Grumpy Old Women Live 2: Chin Up Britain — and is enjoying being involved in the latest tour which comes to Bolton on Thursday, November 7.

Speaking during rehearsals, she said: “It’s always good fun because Jenny is very funny as you can imagine and you’re hearing the jokes for the first time.

“I’d never done any comedy or stand-up before and this is the closest thing to stand-up.

“It’s stand-up because we’re talking to the audience as oppose to being in a play. I’m not acting a part.

“That’s quite different for me, the first time I found it quite nerve-wracking.

“I’ve worked with Jenny before and she’s really good.

“And the nice about working with women is we’re all very compassionate about each other’s problems.

“We do look after each other really well.”

The show is two hours of no-nonsense comedy, with Susie, Jenny and Kate, who has appeared in Where The Heart Is and Casualty, discussing what brings out their grumpy sides.

Susie, who appeared in Victoria Wood As Seen On TV in the ‘80s and Madame Morrible in the West End production of Wicked, said: “I try very hard not to let anything get my goat.

“You have to keep your heart rate down.

“For instance, I’ve been trying to get my bill paid for my flat in Manchester, with E.ON, and you have to hold on for so long and when you finally get through you haven’t got that one bit of information that they are after.”

Billed as an orgy of fury and big laughs, Susie says men are more than welcome to the show but might be surprised by what they hear, with other features including the art of ‘Grumpy Grooming,’ a free nagging master class, complimentary anger management workshop, the rules of middle-aged drinking, voluntary euthanasia versus retirement and how to customise an unwanted pole dancing kit.

Susie said: “They would need to be brave because they’re in a minority.

“As long as they came along with a lot of women who are going to look after them.

“It’s very funny.

“When we did it last time, four years ago, it’s a different show but the same kind of attitude.

“We talk quite intimately about various things. I think some of the men were a bit shocked.”

Grumpy Old Women: Fifty Shades of Beige will be at the Albert Halls, Bolton, on Thursday, November 7, at 7.30pm.

Phone 01204 334 400 for tickets.