As we get older, there are certain things we wish weren’t part of growing up.
Sadly, for far too many of us, one of them is knowing somebody who didn’t reach out, couldn’t see another way through, or isn’t here today.
A friend. A relative. Someone we went to school with. A colleague. Sometimes somebody we would never have imagined was struggling at all.
On 10 September, World Suicide Prevention Day asks us to start a conversation about something that can still feel incredibly difficult to talk about.
I enjoy helping people. It’s one of the greatest privileges of the work I do. I love that moment when someone’s shoulders drop, their thinking begins to shift and they start to see possibilities where, moments earlier, they could only see problems.
But none of us can help with something we don’t know is happening.
Perhaps that’s why this day matters.
We have become very good at appearing OK. We go to work, make dinner, laugh at something ridiculous, answer “fine, thanks”, and carry on. Sometimes the people carrying the heaviest things are still the ones making everybody else laugh.
So let’s catch one another.
Not just this week. Let’s become the friend who notices the silence. The colleague who asks twice. The neighbour who knocks. The person who actually waits for the answer after asking, “How are you?”
And let’s remember those left behind too. Losing somebody to suicide leaves a particular kind of grief. There can be questions without answers, guilt that doesn’t belong to you and dates that remain difficult long after everybody else has returned to everyday life.
Keep checking on those people. Keep saying their loved one’s name. Keep inviting them for the brew.
Perhaps we should all treat our days as more of a gift. Not because every day is good... they absolutely aren’t. Life can be beautiful, hilarious, unfair and heartbreakingly difficult, sometimes in the same week.
But while we’re here, we get another opportunity to notice each other.
This Week’s Tip
If someone comes to mind today, don’t just wonder how they’re doing. Act on the thought. Send the message. Make the call. Ask, “How are you, really?” Then listen.
And if you’re the person who needs catching, please reach out. You don’t need to have the right words. “I’m struggling” is enough to begin.
Samaritans are available free, 24 hours a day, on 116 123. For urgent mental health support in England, call NHS 111 and select the mental health option. If there is immediate danger, call 999.
Thought for the week: We may never know how much somebody needed the kindness we almost didn’t give.
Kirsty Redford is an NLP therapist and firewalk instructor, passionate about helping people understand their minds, challenge their fears and find their inner power.
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